


Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

by Bubonic_plague



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tags May Change, Wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:47:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23057221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubonic_plague/pseuds/Bubonic_plague
Summary: Idk what this is yet,, we read the book in english and I just gotta put it up here??? Idk what's gonna happen later I'm just moving along ig,,,
Relationships: Jack Merridew & Ralph, Jack Merridew/Ralph
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

The Downside boarding school for Catholics, Ralph’s new school and place of residence. When Ralph had gotten home from evacuation his dad insisted he start attending private Catholic schools. After he arrived home he started having horrid night terrors that left him drenched in sweat and screaming until his throat was raw, a sound that brought his dad to his bedside in the middle of the night. His dad said he was sick then, but he was better now. Ralph didn’t remember what caused those nightmares, and he hadn’t had a nightmare in years.  
Though the lack of memories from those years had been frustrating for a bit, the way the nightmares were described to him made him thankful for that fact, it was like he was magically relieved of a burden imposed on him, and he felt a sense of easiness wash over him thinking about it.  
The school Ralph now attended was large, with a building for each individual subject, the church for mass and prayer, a large cafeteria building, a gym, a pool, and then the dorms sorted by sex and grade. The expanse of the school was surrounded by a thin lining of trees that made the place feel almost Victorian and reminded him of an old school he went to. The paths were made of hardened gravel and lit around by evenly spaced streetlights. It was beautiful in Ralph’s opinion. Thebuildings were mainly of red brick and the trees were pale pines.  
Today was orientation for his years in the secondary grades, supposedly more extravagant than the one he went to before. He arrived at 6:00 A.M., woke up rather early to make it in time. Ralph thought this ridiculous; the orientation and tours had yet to start and wouldn’t for another half an hour. At least now Ralph could get a head start on exploring. He was free of his luggage and the lack of weight in his hands and on his shoulders made him feel free and open, like he himself were made of wind. The thought sent a wave of deja vu over Ralph, but he couldn’t pinpoint where the feeling originated, all he could recall were blurry images of a past time. Disregarding the thought, he walked. He made his way through the tangle of grey paths weaving between buildings until he reached the grass clearing made for soccer and football, near the open track and tennis court. The grass under the soles of his shoes relaxed him, not as good as a pool though--Ralph adored the water. Of course this was because of his father being a naval officer. He couldn’t wait to finally get into the pool, unlike some the swimming portion of gym class had enthralled him, it truly made his day. Unfortunately, the field would have to do for now.  
Ralph, overtaken by the short jolt of energy and excitement, did cartwheels and somersaults and stunts over the grass, undoubtedly messing up his knees while he relished in the simple fun of outside.  
After he was finished and people started gathering at the school's entrance, leaving to their prospective dorms to drop off luggage, Ralph returned to the entrance for instruction. Once a reasonable amount of kids were present, a leader of some sort in the school announced students should go to the church for morning mass, then orientations for each grade would begin. After the announcement, Ralph’s legs obediently carried him in the direction of the large and intricately designed cathedral.  
There were already an abundance of students entering the church, a messy blob of a crowd out front that spilled into a single file line in order to perform proper entrance etiquette. Ralph got to the doorway and watched the students carry out the simple tasks that seemed to make such a difference in the eyes of the adults at the school. Ralph grimaced as he recalled a student that had splashed holy water all over his jumper, he had gotten dragged away by a sister of the church and the rumors that spread of his punishment afterwards were rather harsh. He never told anyone what happened though. He was there now, and he felt to act ever so cautious. It was an odd sensation, the need to act overly proper in the church and around adults had given Ralph the title of people pleaser throughout his class, but the shy amount of friends he made in his first year knew better. Ralph dipped his index finger in the bowl of holy water at the entrance and did the sign of the cross, trying to keep the line moving as smoothly as possible. Before he found his seat in a pew along the sides of the church he knelt at the tabernacle smiling back at the pastor that had silently greeted him. He had the misfortune of having to sit in a pew closer to the front with only two rows in front of him.  
After every student that was on time had filed in, the staff came, then the figures of the church, the pastor, the nuns, and the choir. Ralph watched the choir walk to their respective places when they were already near. Something about their presence seemed sinister, perhaps the overbearing amount of black? Whatever it was sent Ralph reeling back into that sense of Deja Vu, and sent waves of uneasiness and nausea running down his spine like little zapples of electricity. They  
had long black cloaks with the schools logo and a cross embroidered on them, and black caps with metal crosses that the sunlight bounced off of, the boy in front had a gold cross and walked with his head tilted slightly upward, arrogance and self pride radiated off of him heavily. They made their way up behind the priest and lined up, the boy with the gold cross in the middle.Ralph looked at each of them individually, and as he got to the three boys directly behind the pastor, he felt sick.  
The one on the left of the lead choirster had dark hair and eyes and tan skin, soft circles of darkness sat under his eyes like a highlight, his gaze was set off into nothing, staring aimlessly at the church doors. The  
boy on the right of the lead had sandy blond hair and soft brown eyes, he looked decently cherry, but in a mocking way, it looked like he was making fun of each of them in his head. Then there was the lead choirster he was pale with a face covered in little freckles that were more gathered over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Blue eyes that resembled icy water unlike Ralph’s that were a deep blue, like a lake in the summer. He had a slim, angular face that made him look older, like an adult almost, but the scars from acne were definitely present though hidden by the dark splotches of freckles. From under his cap peaked red curly hair like waves of a poisonous ocean, bright and fiery, He was tall, taller than the others with the boy to his left coming in a close second. The way his eyes scanned over the crowd of people before him was judgemental, he probably had the persona of a snob.  
Ralph stared at him, he didn’t like the feeling he got from it. It made the church feel hot and Ralph’s head feel cloudy and foggy, the blurry pictures raced through his head. The most predominant color in the images was red, and Ralph’s brows furrowed with discontent, he was sweating, but he couldn’t look away. Then their eyes met and simultaneously widened. Ralph felt like running away, his leg twitched with the need to get away from the church, to hide in the arms of an adult and cry. He had to cover his mouth to stop himself from throwing up. It was like he was waking up from one of his horrible nightmares, but he couldn’t scream. Memories raced into him at an alarming rate. Death, blood, fire, an island, a plane, and two of his dearest friends he dared to forget. His head reeled and spun, he sought out words he didn’t even seem to know.  
BNot words, a name. What was this boy's name? He heard the screams from the island.  
“Jack!”  
“I said ‘grab them’!”  
That was it. Jack, Jack Merridew, a devil that had been forgotten for good reason. It felt cold now and Ralph shivered, he was snapped out of his fog by the pastor’s voice and the shuffling of bodies to stand, his eyes flitted up to whom he thought to be Jack momentarily. It had hit him at that moment.  
Of course, Ralph sighed standing with the rest of the school, that couldn’t have been Jack Merridew, there were plenty of gingers with the same appearance as that boy, the sight of a look alike had just startled him was all. This realization didn’t make him forget the memories he just gained back though. A silly coincidence, it was a bit embarrassing that he had been shaken so easily by someone’s face though, Ralph flushed softly. The preacher instructed the choir to start their hymns that had been prepared by churches long before them and they did on que. It was beautiful, Ralph’s old school hadn’t had a choir, or even a church as nice as this one. Their voices were harmonic and reverberated off the walls and filled the air smoothly. Ralph was almost sad to hear it end. Despite the fear the choir’s looks had stricken in Ralph, their voices were comforting and Ralph could see why the middle boy walked with an air of arrogance surrounding him. It was rightful, he had a voice made of silk and gold, smooth and rich.  
The pastor put his hand out, silencing the boys. They stood behind him, respectful and quiet, then mass continued. Mass went by as slow as ever, sitting and standing on and on. The prayers were practically second nature to everyone there. Naturally, the ceremony ended with the echoing voices of the boys in neat rows behind the pastor, they continued as the school walked out and now were orientations and tours. Ralph continued down the gravel path outside of the church, intent on getting to the gymnasium early to get a good uncrowded seat.  
“Ralph?”  
“Ralph!”  
“Is that you?”  
Two Identical voices sounded from behind Ralph, the last sentence spoke in unison. With the jolt of information just forced upon him, he almost instantly recognized these voices as the twins, from the island. He turned around slowly to delay the inevitable. There they were.  
“Ralph! We knew it was you!”  
The twins spoke in unison, some things never change. He didn’t speak, just stood there and watched them. They had grown significantly, both taller and tanner. They were at a healthy weight. They just looked different to him, and for a second he doubted they were who he thought they were, but the way they looked at him.  
“We’re sorry Ralph-”  
“Yeah, we can’t believe you’re here-”  
“It’s been so long-”  
“We’re sorry.”  
Samneric shifted their weight, still in unison, and looked down.  
“Samneric? You guys are fine, it’s really you though, right?” Ralph looked between them, then at the church they stood before, “Are you guys the only ones here? Is anyone else from that place here?” Did he really see Jack, and Roger, and Maurice? He sure hoped not, but the twins glancing back in the direction at the church kind of confirmed his suspicion.  
“Yeah-”  
“The hunters…”  
Ralph shook his head, what luck. He felt the sickness return, he had really just looked that stupid Jack Merridew in the eyes, it was really him. Not only that he had been forced to remember such horrific events in such a short period of time, and now he couldn’t stop thinking of it. Piggy, Simon, oh god he was almost killed so many years ago. What would happen now that his tormentor from that island was  
back? Did this mean the hunt was back on? Was Jack gonna try and hurt him, or-- even the thought of his face made Ralph cringe. This was a horrible turn of events, for a moment he felt the humid air of the island and the smell of fire consumed his senses. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes as he stared on at the church, the church at which a devil lurked inside, disguised as a simple choir boy with a nice voice.  
“Ralph? You’re sweating, what’s wrong?”  
“It’s the hunters, right? God, Ralph, we’re sorry.”  
Ralph shook, “It’s ok I said, you didn’t hunt-,” Ralph looked at them, technically they did, but it wasn’t by choice, “You didn’t have a choice guys, I was never mad at you, just them. We gotta get to the gym, before we’re late,” he backed away from the church, eyes still attached to it, “Show me the way? Please?”  
Sam and Eric shared a nervous look, but nodded. It was probably better they get away from church, before the hunters came out and Ralph broke into a full on  
panic attack.  
“Alright-”  
“This way.”  
The orientation went through school standards and rules, then the tour came and they walked around the school before being allowed to roam around and appropriate themselves before dinner. The twins stuck with Ralph the entire time.They caught up on things since the island, and it felt nice. The familiarity was great, but the feeling that crawled up and down his spine the entire afternoon wasn’t. The thought that those silly hunters could be right behind him stayed with him, but they couldn’t hurt him now. Well, they could, but not badly, they couldn’t kill him. They weren’t on an island anymore, they were at a boarding school and Ralph was decently safe, but that didn’t change the fact that Jack and his old tribe were there. He could swear he even saw the group trailing behind him and Samneric at some point on their way to the mess hall, but he blamed it on paranoia. Jack probably hadn’t realized it was him, and if he did he was probably just as desperate to stay away from Ralph, no one in their right mind should wanna remember that something like that had actually happened. Ralph was angry that he just did, the horror at such an age, it was terrible, all brought back to life in his head by the chief of barbarism himself. Of course it had been him, he was gonna be angry for the rest of the night now.  
“Ralph-”  
“You’re sweating again, you look sick-”  
“-and hot!” Eric added at the end, “You should get rest if you’re feeling unwell.”  
“Or go to the nurse,” Sam added unhelpfully.  
“I’m gonna go to bed then, I should be fine by the morning, hopefully,” Ralph stood up pushing his chair back, “I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”  
He took his leave with a curt nod leaving the twins to wave awkwardly at his receding figure.  
“You don’t think it’s because-”  
“Probably, we tried to kill him-”  
“THEY tried to kill him, and he forgave us…”  
Sam shook his head, “It doesn’t matter, we were still there, we didn’t try to stop it, and now he’s stuck in a school with people who tried to KILL him, it’s gotta be that.”  
Eric just looked down at his food, “You’re right, we have to try to make it up to him-”  
“Yeah.”  
The twins continued to eat in silence, silently promising to themselves and Ralph that they would try their best to make it better.


End file.
